The first reason for my painting is the need for expression, hearing my own voice, making my physical and conscious presence felt, expressing the message which I could not or did not want to express in a different way.
The second reason is the need for self-definition, expressing my own identity in a tangible and visible way, seeing myself in the pictures, or, to some extent, identifying myself with them, as they are, and should be in principle, the mirror of identity. Identity understood deeply, the inner one, perhaps even the spiritual one.
The first reason arises, so to speak, from the second one, but the very need for saying, expressing, making my presence felt is independent of the second one, which arises from self-reflection, or leads to it.
The third reason for painting, the most inner one and resulting from the second one is the need for the continuous, as if spiritual, cleansing myself of emotions, psycho-emotional states, which can dominate our subconscious and need to be “erased”, or voiced (expression) and which we need to become aware of (self-reflection).
This cycle of creation allows me, through art, to maintain the individual hygiene of the inner and artistic life.
With the help of pictures I say words and sentences which, for many reasons, would not come to light.
Here, I touch upon the very personal sphere of honesty towards myself. Unfortunately, I am not always able to be honest, even with myself.
Life experience, being brought up to live in hypocrisy, hurts and fears, as well as my own weaknesses and tendency towards self-justification, distort the picture of myself and the world so much that the process of painting is the medium which allows me to reveal the truth about myself, discover my own identity, answer the questions which we asked in the childhood, carry on the inner dialogue, the dialogue with other people and God. It is not easy and does not always provide unequivocal solutions.
Some questions have no answers.
I know that treating my own art in this way puts more emphasis on certain elements which we are used to.
In consequence I value the very process of painting - when I fight with myself – more than the final result or the work of art. I battle with myself, and the material remains and reflection of the fight is the picture. Picture – question, picture – answer.