Certainly, this is not the main reason.
Reason is not the best tool to get to know ourselves or another person. Painting touches the incognizable things.
Where the power of logic is no longer of any use, the heart - the soul, will and conscience in the biblical sense - become the most appropriate tools of cognition. Where reason cannot help, one needs faith. This is where the ordered world of logic ends and the world of spiritual elements begins.
When I paint, I bend the matter to the spirit. The paintings become the source of knowledge because of the metaphysical similarity between the work of art and its author.
Only people who admit to their imperfection, and whose motivation to paint or create pieces of art is the desire to go beyond this imperfection may be honest in doing their work as artists.
This desire allows them to ''stand next to themselves'' and see their own reflection in the work of art, escape from themselves confined in the human form.
At the same time, allowing a work of art - the reflection of one''s own "self" - to materialize means owning to oneself, accepting one''s weaknesses and deficiencies. It is going beyond oneself and one''s deficiencies and limitations, looking for a way out, looking for help.
The process of painting combines the following: the matter - through physical contact with painting media, psyche - when I express the psychical states I experience, spirituality - spiritual struggle takes place during painting, different inspirations, with which I struggle, come to me in these moments.
All the above mentioned areas are important in the process of painting. The matter that offers resistance reminds us about material limitations and borders. The sensitivity of the psyche allows to precisely express emotions and feelings and other non-verbal content. Involvement in a spiritual struggle makes us to alter our own inspirations and impulses.
When I paint, all these signals come to me simultaneously, and I dialogue with them by means of a brush and paints. Painting allows me to understand the mystery of happiness and suffering, creation and destruction.
Each picture has its roots in the protest against the cold emptiness of the canvass stretcher. Fear of this emptiness and absurdity of nothingness makes the artist paint a picture that becomes a dramatic struggle to save the artist, to find the meaning. Experiencing this nihilism of form results in the paroxysm of brush strokes that resemble fencing.
As a result of defence, shapes appear from wet paint. They are poor and imperfect, unfinished and ''in the process of making'', but they fill the emptiness, and, against this emptiness, they seem a blooming garden of form.
Further struggle for shape aims at the acceptance of this poor poetics, ineptness, weakness, resistance of matter, which would not easily be bent by spiritual energy to a certain visible shape.
This resistance and struggle is the content of my paintings.
If I had to compare the moment preceding the very beginning of painting a picture I would compare it with the tension that accumulates before the Great Explosion.
Scientists have been trying to unveil the mystery of how the universe was created and they build huge cyclotrons in order to have a chance to see particles of energy collide and get to know the Mystery, to witness the Act of Creation.
This physical and material method is not sufficient as it does not include the spiritual component of the act of creation. The only way of learning what the beginning of the world looked like is to get to know the act of creation in a personal and spiritual way.
Each painter experiences a similar feeling before he makes the first brush stroke on the canvas.
My experience in this respect is connected with great tension and power of expression that I can bear no more. Although it only applies to the painting matter, spiritual experiences that accompany it, may give the artist a foretaste of what the Beginning was like.
Looking at the matter, either a painting or matter understood as a visible part of reality, watching it carefully, I have the impression that another, spiritual reality comes through its shapes, colours, valours. At the beginning it seems inexpressible, and, gradually, as we enter this reality, it dawns on us and becomes obvious.
The mystery of encounter with this "different reality" was a deeply intimate experience, touching the very bottom of my identity. An experience that shaped this identity.
A picture showing light permeating the darkness reflects internal spiritual struggle. The light illuminating a dark path shows direction and gives hope.
My paintings present spiritual struggle. They reflect a dialogue with God and myself. In this dialogue I ask questions about the meaning of life, suffering and death. It echoes the questions asked by Job, questions that have been asked by people since they left the Paradise.
It constitutes a part of dialogue of heart and emotions, which find their way to the canvas of the paintings. They reflect my spiritual face, my soul.
Is there anyone who does not ask questions himself? Is there anyone who has the knowledge about himself and who knows his own face with absolute certainty? As we get to know our imperfection and deficiencies we start asking questions.
Painting helps me touch the problems that cannot be understood using one''s own reason. It is a source of knowledge of my own actions, intentions, motivations and mechanisms that influence them.
It shows the truth about myself, materializes my soul, impulses of my psyche and spirit. It colours the painting matter with the content that comes directly from the bottom of my heart and soul.
I started painting when I no longer could understand what is happening to me and around me. Martial law, the final year of secondary school, lack of plans for the future and a whirl of emotions I felt that needed expressing all made me reach for paintbrush and start painting.
Expressing myself through painting was connected with releasing emotional reserves and freeing emotions, feelings, questions, fears and desires that were looking for an outlet. Concentration and materialization of all these feelings and emotions inside me found an outlet in painting.
I used to be a rebel but I gradually changed and started accepting things.
Now I can say that painting increased my self-awareness. The higher the self-awareness, the lesser fear of life.
Painting accompanied me witnessing the development, regressions, and changes. It is a kind of spiritual diary, a witness of my struggle with myself and God.